Saturday June 15, 2011
“A sacrifice to be real must cost, must hurt, and must empty ourselves. Give yourself fully to God. He will use you to accomplish great things on the condition that you believe much more in his love than in your weakness.”
― Mother Teresa
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i woke up at about 9 am and found my family in the living room whispering ...
Mom: " 3adnan ( dads name) lasim inwadeeha dictor nefsy, sheftha bil safra? ma galet kelma wa7da, ma gamet tetkelm, madry shfeeha! gemt a5af "
Dad: " ya Sara, ya 7abeebty itha shefna feeha shay ra7 inwedeeha, bes ma feeha shay mu lazim, oo ehya ma tabi itroo7 mu gha9eb, lazim in5aleeha 3ala ra7et'ha "
Mom: " inshalla "
_____
now that i got the therapy thing out of my head, its such a relief. plus, the way my family talks behind my back is kind of annoying, i mean i know whats happening is diffecult, but why act weird ..
i came in and found some donuts, pancakes, waffles, bagels and many other delicious food on the counter, a smile formed on my face instantly.
Me: " 9aba7 il5air... laish kel hatha ? "
Mom: " 9aba7 ilnoor 7abeebti :) 3ashanich yuma .. intay testahlane akther "
- wow thats nice of them, even the smell of all this made me full already ... -
after eating and spending some quality time with my family, an hour passed by and i felt my phone vibrating, it was Zyad. i gave him my phone number along with the others (james, charlie and Damon ) so we can stay in touch..
i answered the phone ..
Me: " Alo "
Zyad : "Ahlan fay! "
- why so excited ? -
Me: " hala zyad, shlonik ? "
Zyad: " tamam il7emdilla , shlonich intay ? :D "
- he was talking so quickly, i dont know whats wrong with him -
Me: " wala il7emdilla "
Zyad: " yalla tara ana ta7at "
Me: " isa3a 10 .. "
Zyad: " exactly, fa we're gonna be late, yalla!"
- i didnt bother asking him where were going at 10 am cause i know he wont tell me, plus he closed the phone on my face -.- -
i went to get changed really quick, i guess we're going to the mall, so i didnt wear anything uncomfortable ..
and i also brought the rest of the donuts and pancakes for Zyad, its 10 so its breakfast, and... maybe hes hungry ... im so kind :)
when i went inside the elevator i unexpectedly ran into Lee , except i didnt recognize her because she was wearing shades ..
Me: " oh, hey Lee "
Lee: " oh, fay, i didnt see there, how r u ?
- .. i was right infornt of her -
Me: " umm fine, how about u ?"
Lee: " im all good, dont worry i can see things if i concentrate on them, i just made an eye surgery, they said they found a tumor in there, sorry i didnt see u there at first dearie "
Me: " no its ok :) "
- i really felt bad .. -
Lee: " sooo, there was a handsome young man in the lobby i saw earlier, i heard him say ur name on the phone ;) "
Me: " yea, zyad ... hes a friend :) "
Lee: " a handsome friend, and it sure showed form the huge smile on his face that ur really good friends ;)) "
- oh my god ! -
Me: " hhh , yea "
Lee: " well, dont be shy hun, tell me, is something wrong ? r u having mixed feelings ? "
Me :" no its not that, we're just really good friends, i just met him yesterday , and im not the type of person to u know ... express my feeling to someone, not because of my morales, its just in general, i dont know how to do it.. "
Lee: " mmhhmm, sweat heart, im going to tell u something i read earlier, it was a quote said by C. Joybell C ... it says :"We have to allow ourselves to be loved by the people who really love us, the people who really matter. Too much of the time, we are blinded by our own pursuits of people to love us, people that don't even matter, while all that time we waste and the people who do love us have to stand on the sidewalk and watch us beg in the streets! It's time to put an end to this. It's time for us to let ourselves be loved." fay, i didnt follow this quote .. and i regretted half of my life because of that, i was just like u, dont do that mistake, be loved by the people who matter ... and u know who im talking about ... "
- how did she know ? -
Me: " umm, thanks Lee, that was really nice, but how ... "
- and the elevator doors opened ... great -
Lee: " i just do, God created us all the same, its not difficult to get to know one another if u just try ... see u later sunshine .. "
- i said good bye with a blank expression on my face, i was stunned , she new me so well! was it obvious that i was that secure and close minded, and was my past so obvious to her too ? i dont know ... -
__________
the first person i saw when i entered the lobby was Zyad , i didnt even have to look, he wore a plane white t-shirt and some shorts, he looked ... how can i say it .. dreamy .. what ?! fay seriously !!! ur not like that ! snap out of it !! was Lee's conversation affecting me that much ...
Me: " hey :D"
Zyad: " helloo :D"
Me: " i brought u breakfast "
Zyad : " ahhh thank u ! im starving !! "
Me: " ur welcome :D"
- YAY! -
Zyad: " yalla lets go, the taxi's waiting :D "
- he actaully held my hand ... he held my hand all the way to the taxi !!!!!!!! i felt something prickling inside my skin, its traveling through my whole body .. what r these things ? .. we went inside the cab, and zyad started eating, he looked so cute when hes eating ... fay !!! STOP IT! -
Me: " so ... where r we going ? "
Zyad: " James and the others had to cancel because they had to do some university papers they have to fill out, so im gonna take u to the Galleria my self :) "
Me: " But isnt it kind of early ?"
Zyad : "the earlier the better :) "
- When we arrived at the Galleria no one was there, it was deserted .. except it was almost afternoon on a saturday ... -
Me: " its saturday, and no one is even here "
Zyad" thats why i told u the earlier the better, u cant step a foot in here at night "
Me: " i can see why, its HUGE "
Zyad: " come on, they have an amazing ice skating rink ! "
- oh no, this is bad, i dont know how to skate, but i never admitted it to any one, oh no im gonna embarrass myself-
Me: " Zyad, do we have to ? "
Zyad: " uh yea! its so much fun i promise! "
Me: " oh ok "
Zyad: " itha ma tabeen its ok "
Me: " la 3ady !"
- fay u stupid person -
Zyad: " fay, do u know how to skate ? "
- he looked at me with an eye brow lifted up, what is this guy up to?, is he quizing me of something .. but i have to say, he looked hot when he looked at me that way, well he looks hot all the time -
Me: " yes! i do know how to skate, everyone does! "
- oh my god fay, just oh my god -
Zyad: "fine, but its not that easy if u havnt done it for a while"
- we wore our skating shoes, and i couldnt even walk in them, how the hell am i suppose to skate in them then? this is TORTURE ! .... no fay, lat tetdel3ane, u can so do this ! -
Zyad: " ok, ready ?"
Me: " yup "
- how hard could it be .. -
Zyad: "yalla 3ayal "
Me: " inta awel "
Zyad: " if u say so "
- as soon as he went he started skating so gracefully, like hes a professional, i just got mesmerized by the way he turned around, and skated so peacefully ... fay lat tan7een! -
Me: " here goes .. everything " ( she said everything in a low voice ;p )
- as soon as i put my legs on the ice, i sled flat on my back! i didnt even make it to the middle! -
Zyad: "ohmygod fay! r u ok ? r u hurt? do u need to go to the doctor? ohmygod r u ok?? did u hit ur head ?? "
- he said everything so quickly, i didnt even catch a few words he said! i dont even know how many times he asked me if i was ok, it was like he was on repeat! but in response i just laughed, and laughed ... at my self and him -
Zyad: " why r u laughing ?!!!! r u ok??? "
Me: " cause i dont know how to skate and ur face look pricless ! hahahahahhaha "
Zyad: " i should have guessed " ( he said it with his gorgeous smile )
Me: " can u please help me up "
- i said it because ma kent aby atene7 mara thanya by is gooorgeous smile -
Zyad: "come up slowly .. "
- i didnt listen, i just came up normally forgetting i was on cold, hard ice ... then suddenly i slipped again, but to my astonishment i did land on the ice, i was surprised cause i had my eyes closed, when i opened then i saw Zyad's beautiful face right infornt of me, he was kneeling on me, my back was on his leg, holding me by his hand, he was breathing heavily, his eyes wide ... i just stared .. i didnt know what to do, he looked frightened himself -
Zyad: " i told u slowly .. "
- his face was still inches away form mine, there wasnt any space, and the way he said his words, he said them so softly, so quietly so he wouldn't scare me, he said them so .. gently -
Me: " ... "
Zyad: " if u fall again, i will catch u, u know that right ?"
- his position didnt change, the way he way he said the words didnt change either .. delicate and gentle .. but, what did he mean by those words? im guessing he didnt only mean falling in ice skating .. -
Me :" yea i do "
Zyad: " let me teach u, ok ? "
- how r u suppose to teach me like this? we didnt move , its like we were stuck in one place and in one position -
Me: " ok "
- why r all my answers like that, its like i have a loss for words or something ... seconds later zyad lifted me up higher so i could be standing straight, he went behind me and put one hand on one of my hands and the other on my waist, its like he was hugging me backwards but we were moving, at first i felt uncomfortable, but then .. i felt the opposite ... -
Zyad: "ok .. so slowly .. just move one foot then the other .. its like walking except u have to slide a little .. like dancing "
Me: " dancing ? "
- he pulled out his ipod from his pocket from the hand that was on my waist, then he put one earphone on my ear and another on his, playing " somewhere only we know " by Keane " then returned his ipod in his pocket, put his hand on waist ... where it belongs :P -
Me: " i love this song .. " (i said in a low voice )
Zyad: " me too "
- we circled around the whole rink, i dont know how many time, playing the song on repeat .. we never got bored of it , i didnt even bother asking him if he wanted to change it. the best part was when i closed my eyes half way threw the rink... i felt so at peace, like no one was watching me, the only thing i felt was Zyad's warm hands, and his rhythmic heart beat, i could feel it form my back .. it was so .. relaxing .. it was by far the best feeling in the world -
Me: " Zyad ? "
Zyad : "hmm "
Me: " where it ur favorite place in the world ? "
Zyad: " i dont know yet ... ask me in a couple of years "
- suddenly i felt him get distant, the earphone on my ear fell and i didnt feel Zyad's heartbeats anymore, i turned my head and i found myself skating alone, now i felt free, i was skating all around the place ... i went crazy -
Me: " THIS IS SO AWESOME ! "
- Zyad just laughed at my craziness .. and he started to shout too, i dont even know what he said, i was so in the moment -
_______
after a few minutes i got tired, and zyad did too, so he said we could get some cake from a shop near "rice village" where we went yesterday .. as we got in the cab, Zyad took out his iPod and we started listening to "somewhere only we know" again ..
---------------------------------
hope u enjoy this chapter! and hopefully the next one will be longer, and please dont forget to tell me what u think :*
>> @epiphanyblogger
>> ask.fm/epiphany88
“A sacrifice to be real must cost, must hurt, and must empty ourselves. Give yourself fully to God. He will use you to accomplish great things on the condition that you believe much more in his love than in your weakness.”
― Mother Teresa
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i woke up at about 9 am and found my family in the living room whispering ...
Mom: " 3adnan ( dads name) lasim inwadeeha dictor nefsy, sheftha bil safra? ma galet kelma wa7da, ma gamet tetkelm, madry shfeeha! gemt a5af "
Dad: " ya Sara, ya 7abeebty itha shefna feeha shay ra7 inwedeeha, bes ma feeha shay mu lazim, oo ehya ma tabi itroo7 mu gha9eb, lazim in5aleeha 3ala ra7et'ha "
Mom: " inshalla "
_____
now that i got the therapy thing out of my head, its such a relief. plus, the way my family talks behind my back is kind of annoying, i mean i know whats happening is diffecult, but why act weird ..
i came in and found some donuts, pancakes, waffles, bagels and many other delicious food on the counter, a smile formed on my face instantly.
Me: " 9aba7 il5air... laish kel hatha ? "
Mom: " 9aba7 ilnoor 7abeebti :) 3ashanich yuma .. intay testahlane akther "
- wow thats nice of them, even the smell of all this made me full already ... -
after eating and spending some quality time with my family, an hour passed by and i felt my phone vibrating, it was Zyad. i gave him my phone number along with the others (james, charlie and Damon ) so we can stay in touch..
i answered the phone ..
Me: " Alo "
Zyad : "Ahlan fay! "
- why so excited ? -
Me: " hala zyad, shlonik ? "
Zyad: " tamam il7emdilla , shlonich intay ? :D "
- he was talking so quickly, i dont know whats wrong with him -
Me: " wala il7emdilla "
Zyad: " yalla tara ana ta7at "
Me: " isa3a 10 .. "
Zyad: " exactly, fa we're gonna be late, yalla!"
- i didnt bother asking him where were going at 10 am cause i know he wont tell me, plus he closed the phone on my face -.- -
i went to get changed really quick, i guess we're going to the mall, so i didnt wear anything uncomfortable ..
and i also brought the rest of the donuts and pancakes for Zyad, its 10 so its breakfast, and... maybe hes hungry ... im so kind :)
when i went inside the elevator i unexpectedly ran into Lee , except i didnt recognize her because she was wearing shades ..
Me: " oh, hey Lee "
Lee: " oh, fay, i didnt see there, how r u ?
- .. i was right infornt of her -
Me: " umm fine, how about u ?"
Lee: " im all good, dont worry i can see things if i concentrate on them, i just made an eye surgery, they said they found a tumor in there, sorry i didnt see u there at first dearie "
Me: " no its ok :) "
- i really felt bad .. -
Lee: " sooo, there was a handsome young man in the lobby i saw earlier, i heard him say ur name on the phone ;) "
Me: " yea, zyad ... hes a friend :) "
Lee: " a handsome friend, and it sure showed form the huge smile on his face that ur really good friends ;)) "
- oh my god ! -
Me: " hhh , yea "
Lee: " well, dont be shy hun, tell me, is something wrong ? r u having mixed feelings ? "
Me :" no its not that, we're just really good friends, i just met him yesterday , and im not the type of person to u know ... express my feeling to someone, not because of my morales, its just in general, i dont know how to do it.. "
Lee: " mmhhmm, sweat heart, im going to tell u something i read earlier, it was a quote said by C. Joybell C ... it says :"We have to allow ourselves to be loved by the people who really love us, the people who really matter. Too much of the time, we are blinded by our own pursuits of people to love us, people that don't even matter, while all that time we waste and the people who do love us have to stand on the sidewalk and watch us beg in the streets! It's time to put an end to this. It's time for us to let ourselves be loved." fay, i didnt follow this quote .. and i regretted half of my life because of that, i was just like u, dont do that mistake, be loved by the people who matter ... and u know who im talking about ... "
- how did she know ? -
Me: " umm, thanks Lee, that was really nice, but how ... "
- and the elevator doors opened ... great -
Lee: " i just do, God created us all the same, its not difficult to get to know one another if u just try ... see u later sunshine .. "
- i said good bye with a blank expression on my face, i was stunned , she new me so well! was it obvious that i was that secure and close minded, and was my past so obvious to her too ? i dont know ... -
__________
the first person i saw when i entered the lobby was Zyad , i didnt even have to look, he wore a plane white t-shirt and some shorts, he looked ... how can i say it .. dreamy .. what ?! fay seriously !!! ur not like that ! snap out of it !! was Lee's conversation affecting me that much ...
Me: " hey :D"
Zyad: " helloo :D"
Me: " i brought u breakfast "
Zyad : " ahhh thank u ! im starving !! "
Me: " ur welcome :D"
- YAY! -
Zyad: " yalla lets go, the taxi's waiting :D "
- he actaully held my hand ... he held my hand all the way to the taxi !!!!!!!! i felt something prickling inside my skin, its traveling through my whole body .. what r these things ? .. we went inside the cab, and zyad started eating, he looked so cute when hes eating ... fay !!! STOP IT! -
Me: " so ... where r we going ? "
Zyad: " James and the others had to cancel because they had to do some university papers they have to fill out, so im gonna take u to the Galleria my self :) "
Me: " But isnt it kind of early ?"
Zyad : "the earlier the better :) "
- When we arrived at the Galleria no one was there, it was deserted .. except it was almost afternoon on a saturday ... -
Me: " its saturday, and no one is even here "
Zyad" thats why i told u the earlier the better, u cant step a foot in here at night "
Me: " i can see why, its HUGE "
Zyad: " come on, they have an amazing ice skating rink ! "
- oh no, this is bad, i dont know how to skate, but i never admitted it to any one, oh no im gonna embarrass myself-
Me: " Zyad, do we have to ? "
Zyad: " uh yea! its so much fun i promise! "
Me: " oh ok "
Zyad: " itha ma tabeen its ok "
Me: " la 3ady !"
- fay u stupid person -
Zyad: " fay, do u know how to skate ? "
- he looked at me with an eye brow lifted up, what is this guy up to?, is he quizing me of something .. but i have to say, he looked hot when he looked at me that way, well he looks hot all the time -
Me: " yes! i do know how to skate, everyone does! "
- oh my god fay, just oh my god -
Zyad: "fine, but its not that easy if u havnt done it for a while"
- we wore our skating shoes, and i couldnt even walk in them, how the hell am i suppose to skate in them then? this is TORTURE ! .... no fay, lat tetdel3ane, u can so do this ! -
Zyad: " ok, ready ?"
Me: " yup "
- how hard could it be .. -
Zyad: "yalla 3ayal "
Me: " inta awel "
Zyad: " if u say so "
- as soon as he went he started skating so gracefully, like hes a professional, i just got mesmerized by the way he turned around, and skated so peacefully ... fay lat tan7een! -
Me: " here goes .. everything " ( she said everything in a low voice ;p )
- as soon as i put my legs on the ice, i sled flat on my back! i didnt even make it to the middle! -
Zyad: "ohmygod fay! r u ok ? r u hurt? do u need to go to the doctor? ohmygod r u ok?? did u hit ur head ?? "
- he said everything so quickly, i didnt even catch a few words he said! i dont even know how many times he asked me if i was ok, it was like he was on repeat! but in response i just laughed, and laughed ... at my self and him -
Zyad: " why r u laughing ?!!!! r u ok??? "
Me: " cause i dont know how to skate and ur face look pricless ! hahahahahhaha "
Zyad: " i should have guessed " ( he said it with his gorgeous smile )
Me: " can u please help me up "
- i said it because ma kent aby atene7 mara thanya by is gooorgeous smile -
Zyad: "come up slowly .. "
- i didnt listen, i just came up normally forgetting i was on cold, hard ice ... then suddenly i slipped again, but to my astonishment i did land on the ice, i was surprised cause i had my eyes closed, when i opened then i saw Zyad's beautiful face right infornt of me, he was kneeling on me, my back was on his leg, holding me by his hand, he was breathing heavily, his eyes wide ... i just stared .. i didnt know what to do, he looked frightened himself -
Zyad: " i told u slowly .. "
- his face was still inches away form mine, there wasnt any space, and the way he said his words, he said them so softly, so quietly so he wouldn't scare me, he said them so .. gently -
Me: " ... "
Zyad: " if u fall again, i will catch u, u know that right ?"
- his position didnt change, the way he way he said the words didnt change either .. delicate and gentle .. but, what did he mean by those words? im guessing he didnt only mean falling in ice skating .. -
Me :" yea i do "
Zyad: " let me teach u, ok ? "
- how r u suppose to teach me like this? we didnt move , its like we were stuck in one place and in one position -
Me: " ok "
- why r all my answers like that, its like i have a loss for words or something ... seconds later zyad lifted me up higher so i could be standing straight, he went behind me and put one hand on one of my hands and the other on my waist, its like he was hugging me backwards but we were moving, at first i felt uncomfortable, but then .. i felt the opposite ... -
Zyad: "ok .. so slowly .. just move one foot then the other .. its like walking except u have to slide a little .. like dancing "
Me: " dancing ? "
- he pulled out his ipod from his pocket from the hand that was on my waist, then he put one earphone on my ear and another on his, playing " somewhere only we know " by Keane " then returned his ipod in his pocket, put his hand on waist ... where it belongs :P -
Me: " i love this song .. " (i said in a low voice )
Zyad: " me too "
- we circled around the whole rink, i dont know how many time, playing the song on repeat .. we never got bored of it , i didnt even bother asking him if he wanted to change it. the best part was when i closed my eyes half way threw the rink... i felt so at peace, like no one was watching me, the only thing i felt was Zyad's warm hands, and his rhythmic heart beat, i could feel it form my back .. it was so .. relaxing .. it was by far the best feeling in the world -
Me: " Zyad ? "
Zyad : "hmm "
Me: " where it ur favorite place in the world ? "
Zyad: " i dont know yet ... ask me in a couple of years "
- suddenly i felt him get distant, the earphone on my ear fell and i didnt feel Zyad's heartbeats anymore, i turned my head and i found myself skating alone, now i felt free, i was skating all around the place ... i went crazy -
Me: " THIS IS SO AWESOME ! "
- Zyad just laughed at my craziness .. and he started to shout too, i dont even know what he said, i was so in the moment -
_______
after a few minutes i got tired, and zyad did too, so he said we could get some cake from a shop near "rice village" where we went yesterday .. as we got in the cab, Zyad took out his iPod and we started listening to "somewhere only we know" again ..
---------------------------------
hope u enjoy this chapter! and hopefully the next one will be longer, and please dont forget to tell me what u think :*
>> @epiphanyblogger
>> ask.fm/epiphany88
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