Previously :
Zyad : " its ok fay, its ok ... "
- i cant belive im crying in front of a complete stranger, but in this moment part of me doesn't care -
Me: " u dont understand!! "
Zyad : " yes, i actually do "
- i looked at him, nose red, eyes filled with tears -
Me: " how ? "
___________________
- a few minutes later i was still sobbing, i couldn't control myself, i just blew up! i never did this before, im having this stupid malfunction in worst time ever !!! UGH FAY!!! -
Zyad : "bes ge3day, i5thay nafas .. "
- i sat down, i really dont know how i sat even, i was covering my face the whole time, i hate people seeing me cry -
Zyad: " im pretty sure ur not just crying because u felt bad for the kid, whats wrong ? "
Me: " how can i trust u "
Zayd: " u just cried ur heart out in front of me, i dont think telling me whats wrong is gonna make a difference .. "
- i thought about it, he seems like a nice guy, hes kind, and he really seemed like he cared -
Me:" i dont know, everything is just all over the place, i dont know where to start ! "
Zyad: " just take it easy, step by step "
Me: " im a bad person "
- he looked at me like he didnt believe me .. -
Me: " i am! that boy doesnt have quarter what i have and he still managed to have a smile of his face, i .. i cant remember the last time i did that, i can't remeber the last time i laughed, like really laughed .. u know? i use to be a bully all my life, well most of my life .. but as i think of it now, ive been a bully to myself too .. like, i didnt allow myself to live the way i wanted to live ..... u know? see? i told u i wont make sense ! "
- i was tearing up all the way, but he still listened, and he didnt look at me sympathetically, he looked at me like he cared -
Zyad :" what made u become a bully ? "
Me: " i dont know ... i lost faith in myself i guess, i didnt feel good enough, so i released all my anger towards people that dont deserve it, people who actually cared about me ... i dont know how i got to this point, maybe this is a period in my life where i can start over .. "
Zyad: " thats exactly it "
from that minute on, most of the day was spent just us talking about ourselves. i told him everything about myself and my life in general.. like my sister, and how she use to control me, and now she acts so sweet because of what happened to me. i told him about saja, jazi and haya. and i even told him how i use to lie to people. i told him about maya, and how i betrayed her, and how i so badly regret it. how i was this bully, and how mean i use to be, how ungrateful i use to be as well ...
but u know what surprised me the most, was that he didnt judge me .. but by the end i new why ..
he use to be the same ...
Zyad" i use to be this jerk too, my number one priorities were my friends, and my status. i cant count how many girlfriends i had, and how many hearts ive broken, and not only my exes, but people too.
i cant count how many girls ive gotten in trouble with, and the most shameful part was that i was the reason all those girls got in trouble, i was the reason all those girl had lost there parents trust .. and at that time i didnt care .. "
Me: " u didnt care at all ? "
Zyad: " deep down, i really did, but my ego took over all the sympathy in me. it took over my whole body.. my emotions .. my parents tried to actually rescue me in a way, rescue me from the path i was in, or was going to follow. but they didnt help, my stubbornness was too strong... just remebering what i use to do, disgusts me, it actually still haunts me... all the drinking, smoking, girls, the bad influences .. but, i cant erase it now, im just trying to build this wall between me and my past right now .. "
Me: " what made u change? "
Zyad: " this "
Me: " this? what do u mean? u had cancer? "
Zyad: " nope, my dad did. and it was just .. heartbreaking. i wished it wouldve happened to me, its hard enough to see my father in pain, but him go threw it for a long time as well.. its just .. i dont know .. sad"
Me: " is he ok now? "
Zyad: "well i guess, he did the surgery, and he finished his chemotherapy which took almost 2 years, and now hes taking radiation, which is after chemotherapy .. and that'll take him about 8 months .."
(- to anyone who doesnt know, chemotherapy is what cancer patients get for theyre treatment, and thats what makes their hair fall and stuff, radiation is what u get after chemo, its just an ashe3a to make sure the cancer is gone, sometimes if the cancer is small they just do radiation .. oh and also surgery if they have to-)
Me: " youve stayed here for the past 2 years ? "
Zyad: " yup, and im glad .. i didnt want to leave my dad and mom alone, and we all needed to be by my dads side for support, plus i still keep in touch with my good friends if thats what ur wondering, and about my other "friends" .. they just left me .. u dont know ur true freinds until u really needed them .. "
Me: " exactly .. "
Zyad: " so, r u ok now? "
Me:" yea, but u know, i never cry in front of people, but ur an exception .. "
Zyad: " good, it actually made us get to know each other :) "
Me: " yea, it did ... :)"
Zyad: " so, u didnt tell me why ur here .. "
Me: " they told me i had brain cancer in kuwait, faa i came here, i just finished my check up .. "
Zyad: " oh, well dont worry .. ur results come out in 3 days 9a7?
Me: " 2 i think .. "
Zyad: " then, we dont have any time to waste !"
Me: " shnu 8a9dik? "
Zyad: " im gonna show u around!! r u staying at the hotel? "
Me :" yea ... "
Zyad: " perfect "
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the next thing i know, we were sitting in the hotel's bus, going to god know where ..
Zyad said that he lives in a house 2 minutes form here, because they were staying for a long time, and the hotel was too small for his dad ..
we were going to some village zyad told me about, and hes going to make me meet some of the people he got to know when he lived here for 2 years, but i told him im not good at meeting new people, yet, he ignored me ..
________
Me: " zyad, im not good at meeting new people "
Zyad: " lazim tet3alemane "
Me : " UGH "
Zyad: " besich te7el6em "
Me: " inzain! "
- we reached the village (which is actually called the "rice village" which consists of a few boutiques and cafes) and i got nervous, what if they thought i was weird ...
when we got off i saw 3 people standing in front of a music shop, one blonde guy which had his arm around a brunette's shoulders, which indicated that they were together.. i think, and another "black" guy ( dont mean to be racist) standing with them talking .. we walked towards them , and they all smiled -
Zyad: " hey guys, i called because i wanted to introduce u to a knew friend i met recently "
- they all said hi and introduced them selves, the blonde guy was named James, the brunette's name was Charlotte , but she told me that i can call her Charlie, and the black dude was called Damon , they were all really sweet, charlie even walked near me, and we started talking about random subjects.
so after about an hour of just talking and laughing, i felt so close to them, like we were instant friends, the feeling i got was so different from every other feeling i get, it was the feeling of comfort and friendship, it felt sooo good. u know when u miss something, and then it finally arrives, or happens, u know that feeling of relief ... thats what i felt -
James: " so tomorrow we all meet up at the Galleria right ? "
- we all said yes, and at the same time we said our goodbyes, they even hugged me...
the hotel's bus came, so we had to go because it has a certain time limit. ... when we got on the bus Zyad and i .. i noticed that he was staring at me .. -
Me: " what ? "
Zyad: " ur different, u know ? "
Me: " what do u mean? "
Zyad: " i mean, not only ur personality, but also ur looks, ur eyes r like this hazelish green, and ur hair is kind of light, u don't look like the typical kuwaiti kinda girl "
Me: " my grandma is half british .. "
Zyad: " u should be grateful, girls would kill to have those things "
Me: " r u being serious ? "
Zyad: " yeah! dont get me wrong, but ur beautiful, like really .. beautiful "
- i blushed, oh my god this is soooo embarresing -
Me: " well. .. thanks, but from all the people that took advantage of my looks, i started to hate them to tell u the truth .. but thanks .. that was really sweet "
Zyad: " ur welcome "
- and he started to grin, this huge grin! like not that devilish grin, but this huge smile -
Me: " What now!
Zyad: " ur blushing .. "
Me: " shut up!
Zyad: " hahahaha, ur BLUSHING!"
Me: " UGH! ur so annoying ! "
- and we just looked at each other and laughed, oh my god, i dont even remember the last time i really laughed this much, its like my brain forgot that function in body even exsisted ! -
Me: " oh my god, i dont remeber that last time i really laughed that much ! "
Zyad: " oh and thats just the beginning ;) "
- we finally reached the hotel -
Me: " u know, its really nice what u did for me, no one ever did that for me .. so thank u , really .. "
Zyad: " noooo problemo, bel3aks i wanted to, min ziman ma sheft wa7d aw wa7da kuwaitya fa we r actually making each other happy ;) "
me: " yeah ok .. ( huge smile ) ill see tomorrow.. "
- i knew i was blushing i knew i was blushing!!! -
Zyad : yea ok ( almost laughing ) bye blushy washy "
Me: " blushy washy -.- ? "
Zyad: " i mean fay, i meant fay! "
Me: " whatever jerk .. "
- as i walked in the hotel with the biggest smile on my face i realized that this was maybe the best day of my life ... -
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kind of a long post for u guys because u deserve it ! u waited too long oo inshalla i wont take long with my other post ... anyway i hope u enjoy this chapter and dont forget to tell me what u think!!
>> @epiphanyblogger
>> ask.fm/epiphany88
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