chapter 15

enjoy :) ..

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Previously :

Zyad:" how about the movies .. "

Me:" movies r highly overrated .."

Zyad:" oh, i got the best place .. "

Me:" oh god, please dont tell me we're going to mars this time "

Zyad:" oh no! we're too good for mars , i have a better place :D"

- here we go - 

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June 20, 2011

We weren't  allowed to go anywhere today because i just came back from the hospital, and according to mom i had to rest, shes right, i do .. but every time i lay on my bed or the couch a feeling of depression runs through me ... i would miss Zyad. 

I dont know what has gotten into me, ive never been attached to someone that much, not even my own family members .. its very irrelevant for a person to get so close to someone they knew for a couple of weeks, yet i wasnt so .. surprised. Zyad had that attractive, desirable aspect in him that i hated and loved at the same time. I sometimes would have the sudden urge to slap the attractiveness out of him or tell him to stop being so beautiful! .. but of course i would never do that, hes too valuable and i would be a freaking idiot if i did do that. 

The rest of the day went by smoothly, i was literally laying on my bed the whole rest of the day listening to my ipod or talking to Zyad on the phone when he had a break from "Give a Heart". I disliked not doing anything, i practically hate my bed now. 

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June 25, 2011

5 boring days have passed and i finally was allowed out of my jail- like hotel room and out to get some fresh air, i wanted to walk, talk to people, breathe. I neglected my wheelchair and finally used my legs to go to a destination, my hands hurt from all the "wheeling" i had to do. 

My legs feel a little numb because of not using them for so long, yes 5 days are long, those 5 days were like 5 centuries in my calendar, those 5 days are the most hated 5 days of my life until chemo. 

oh, and that reminds me, i have another 5 days until my next appointment, which involves my first treatment of chemotherapy .. 

I went to the hotel's garden again, Zyad is gonna arrive in 10 minutes so we can go somewhere decent, hes been visiting me in my hotel room and he equally got bored of it, well he didnt say he got bored of it, he said that he couldnt wait till i can be fully rested and out and about, which also means "i cant wait till you get the hell out of this stinkin hotel room!" 

As i walk around i spot Lee with her husband, one of her hands was clutched on her husbands hand and the other hand holding a cane, she looked almost as if she was blind .. 

i walk towards her smiling, she didnt react, i looked into her eyes, she didnt react, her husband eyed me and didnt say a word, he too wanted to see if Lee would be able to respond or even feel that i was directly in front of her .. but she didn't .. until 

Lee: " George, is someone in front of me, i can feel someone blocking our way" 

- thank god .. -

Me: " Lee, its me Fay .. "

Lee: " Fay? oh sweetheart come here !"

- she widened her arms indicating for me to hug her, and i did. Her hug was still warm and fuzzy, but i could sense she was a bit weary .. 

Lee:  "i heard about your surgery five days ago! how are u feeling ?"

Me: " im good, how about you?  "

- and i cursed myself the minute that came out of my mouth, but i had to ask, its rude not to -

Lee: " staying strong bud" 

Me :" arnt we all ? "

Lee: " thats probably the best thing to do now .. "

- im use to her looking me in the eyes, knowing exactly how i feel , i get a feeling she can see into peoples souls, or that she has a six sense that she can read people's minds just by looking them in the eyes .. and i instantly feel bad, because if she had that gift, its no use anymore. - 

Me: " Lee? "

Lee: " sweetheart, i can still see you .. in my head .. "

- how the hell ...  -

Me: " i know you can, but how did ..  "

- and as if on "cue", zyad arrived -

Zyad: " helloooo "

Lee and I: " hey "

Zyad: " hey Lee! looking beautiful as always "

Lee: " oh please! .. well maybe i do look good most of the time ;) "

Zyad:  " confidence is always the key " 

Lee: " it is "

- and thats the last thing she says before her departure -

Zyad: " so watcha wanna do ? "

Me: " can we go to "Give a Heart" , i miss the kids over there "

Zyad: " sure, they miss u over there too, they keep asking me when your coming to visit them "

Me:  "well then, lets surprise them :) "

We went inside the hospital and into the elevator, pressed the elevator button and as soon as the button turned red my excitement went form 8 to 100 instantly.

We stepped out side the elevator, went to the hall and to there play area, as soon as the kids saw us, they leaped towards me and hugged me. i did my best to hug every single one of them separately. 

Jason(one of the young patients): " we missed you fay"

Fay: " i missed u guys wayyy more! "

- I looked to watch the other kids when one girl caught my attention, she had the most beautiful eyes i have ever seen, they were so blue i almost thought i can swim in them, her face was as beautiful as her eyes, freckles underneath her eyes made her look unique as well. She had a birth mark on her arm just like the one i have on my back. I looked closer, and when i did i realized something .. she was wearing a wig made up of my hair .. the hair i donated, i knew it was mine because the girl that shaved my hair sent me the picture of the wig. At that moment, i felt like i really did something, like i made a child happy, really happy ... 

The girl was showing off her hair to her friends, her exuberant expression made me tear up, i cant imagine the joy in her. .. -

Zyad : " fay whats wrong? " 

Me: " nothing is wrong "

- and nothing is wrong .. -

Zyad: " then why are you crying ?! "

- i looked at where the girl was playing and he looked at the same direction  -

Zyad: " I think her name is Epiphany .. im not sure, she has lymphoma, a very bad case of it .. "

- and now the tears really started to well up -

Zyad:  " fay stop crying, its ok, look shes happy , nothing to worry about, please stop crying fay, do you want to go, its ok, we can come another time, they will understand .. "

Me: " its not that .. "

Zyad: " than what? "

Me: " she's .. shes .. "

- i wasnt able to continue what i was going to say because the girl whos name was " Epiphany" came to me running and before i knew it she was hugging my legs .. -

Me:" hi .. "

- i tried my best to pull myself together, not wanting to scare her off -

Epiphany:" umm hii, my name is Epiphany .. i .. they told me you shaved your hair for me .. "

Me: " yea... umm yes i did, all for u  "

Epiphany: " thank you "

Me: " oh honey ur worth more than just a wig .. "

Epiphany: " but it makes me happy .. of course its worth it, u changed everything .. "

Me :" and i could say the same for u "

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I hope u guys enjoyed this post, i know its not long but im too tired to right any longer, my eyes are barely open, but hopefully ull like it and please tell me what u think !

>> ask.fm/epiphany88

>> @epiphanyblogger