- Two days later .. June 19, 2011 -
Today was the day of my surgery, the day I've been dreading since the moment i got here..
my family tried there best to make me forget about the whole thing, even inviting zyad and his parents, and even Lee and her husband for dinner last night. honestly, i did have fun, seeing the people i love together, but i couldnt keep my mind off of the surgery that im gonna go through the next day. Zyad and i talked the whole day, played games, did everything, but he still was no use.
- 9:00 am -
An hour before my surgery, my eyes didnt leave the clock's sight, they were glued to it.. my hands were shaking, i didnt know if it was form the shot they gave me or my fear of going under the knife ..
my parents including my sister were praying for me and reading the Qu'ran from yesterday, actually form the start of the trip, i was praying too trying to calm myself down.
Oh, and if u were wondering, yes i am on the hospital bed waiting for the time to come for my surgery, ive been waiting for 2 hours now because the doctors wanted to take a few test and mark my head to see where theyre gonna do the surgery and stuff .. a woman came with a shaving tool in between her hands thinking shes going to shave my head, but what she doesnt know is that its already done. When my family saw my hairless head their faces were priceless, yes i laughed, i didnt think it was a big deal. My mom and sis started crying, but my dad kept quiet. And thats when i stopped laughing .. it wasnt funny by the end ..
- 9:30 am -
the door opened slightly, i thought it was time, i thought it was the doctor but when the person on the outside peeked, i was relieved to see Zyad, my heart started to beet at its normal pace again.
Zyad(and his parents) : "isalam 3alikom"
All: " wa3alaikom ilsalam"
Zyad's mom: " ha fay shlonich ?"
Me: "ib5air il7emdilla"
Zyad's dad: " tara lat 5afeen , sahalat inshalla, a9lan mara7 it7eseen ib ayy shay "
- i smiled, i didnt know what to say, i know that he knows im scared and that nothing he would say would make my fear go away, zyad sat next me and we started talking about how everyone in "give a heart" missed me and wished me the best -
Me: " they're awesome over there"
- i dont know why i felt tired all of a sudden, maybe because im over whelmed or something, or just exhausted, but i still had to be positive, everything is going to be ok inshalla -
Zyad: " they r, kelhom mishtageenlich "
Me: " zyad .. " (in a low voice)
Zyad: " hmm" ( in a low voice as well )
Me: " im scared "
Zyad: " there's nothing to be scared of .. ur in good hands "
Me: " its not that "
Zyad: " 3ayal shnu "
Me: " itha allah ghathib 3alay , what if i dont wake up after my surgery .. "
- i know u think im ridiculous, but if u were in my shoes ( allah lay goolah) this idea would be nothing compared to what would be going through ur head, i was scared ok ! my head wasn't with me at that moment, i was blabbering non sense -
Zyad: " dont say that! U R GOING TO BE OK "
Me: " ok"
- its like hes reassuring himself in a way -
Zyad: " ur making me and u nervous and scared "
Me: " why am i making U nervous AND scared ?! "
Zyad: " because .. "
Me: " because what? "
Zyad: " because i love u "
Doctor: "ok fay, its time"
-....-
Doctor: "fay?"
Me: " hmm, yea .. yea i am "
- i looked at zyad one more time.. he looked at me with those eyes, those beautiful hazel eyes that makes ur whole world spin a thousand spins, at that moment, at that last second for some weird reason, i didnt feel scared anymore
... so i took his hand and whispered in his left ear .. -
" i love u too "
- and off i went -
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
- 6hrs later -
(Zyad)
I didnt stand still the whole time, i looked at the clock every few seconds, i didnt eat, i didnt go to "Give a heart", i just waited impatiently, waited for the doctor to come out of that door to tell us that everything is ok, and that fay is out of the surgery room better than ever .
I cannot believe i told her i loved her, like really loved her, and she knew exactly how i felt, and the best part is that she loves me BACK. when she told me she loved me, i felt like i was over the moon! but the whole thing ended when i saw her being taken away from me to go through her surgery, the scene turned from love and romance to terror and horror ..
Me: " uma ba3ad cham sa3a ? "
Mom: " ma buga shay 7abeeby"
- that was her answer every time i ask her how many hours r left, and i kept asking her because i wanted to hear that answer .. i wanted it to be " ma buga shay" not "la baaayyy lail7leen buga wayed "-
- but suddenly the door opened and everyone stood up, it was the doctor -
Fay's dad: " doctor! "
Doctor: " hello everyone, umm the surgery took longer that it had to .. "
- ughhhh! i hate when they do that! just cut to the chase dude -
Doctor: " and it had some difficulties "
- r u kidding me !! yalla ya baba 5ale9naa! -
Doctor: "but thank god, the surgery went well, the tumor is out, and she is waiting for u in her room :) "
- finally !!!! i didnt realize that i was running until a nurse called out telling me to slow down! -
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Fay)
i opened my eyes to see bright light burning my eyes, i felt like i was flouting in thin air, that i was on my way to cloud 9 .. i was so knocked out that i thought i was dead until i heard the doctor call my name .. i didnt bother to respond because he saw me open my eyes a little wider, it hurt. i felt a pinch on my wrist and i saw that they were putting a large needle inside my vain, is that all i have to go through now? needles , medicine, crying, depression .. but then i remember zyad and everything, it was like a memory stick just got plugged inside my head .. thats when i got relieved.
it didnt take me long to realize that i had the urge to throw up ..
Me: " i feel sick" (very low voice)
Doctor: " yes fay? "
Me: " i feel sick"
Doctor: " oh! get me a plastic bag, a bucket .. anything quick!! everything is gonna be alright fay. ... here u go"
- after throwing up for what seemed like forever, i felt so light headed, i literally felt like a feather; light, quiet.
Me: " i want to see my family, where is my family? "
Doctor: " there going to be here in a minute, ill call them"
- i didnt know if i smiled or winced, i had no control over anything in my body, and i didnt care. I just wanted to sleep -
Mom: " 7abeebty! benty! yuma shlonich, shet7eseen fee ? ta3bana? tabeen may? fe shay emthaygich?"
- whats annoying me right now is u mom -
Me: " shhhhhhhh"
- everyone paused and stared at me because of what i just did, do u blame me? i didnt have the strength to even talk, thats the best i can do to get them to SHUT THERE MOUTHS -
Buzyad: " 5an 5ali fay shwaya terta7 .. zyad 7abeeby yeeb 7ag fay may "
Me: " la 3ady 3ami .. "
Buzyad : " intay ma tegdreen tet7achane shlone ma tabeen may .. roo7 zyad oo yeeb gla9ane mu bes wa7ed "
Me: " mashkoor"
Mom:" uboch ra7 2yeeblich 2hdume 7ag bacher lama te6le3een .. "
Me: " bacher?! "
Mom:" ildoctor gal bes youm 2tnameen bel musteshfa, bes 3ady yabaw kil shay ib ghurfatna "
Me: " inzain"
- one day! r they serious?! bil kuwait ilnas 2enamoon isboo3 bilmusteshfa bes 7ag duda ilzayda oo ana youm! -
Zyad: "hatha il may .. "
- i tried reaching out but my body was too weak and i couldnt move my hands from that stupid drip thing -
Me: " yuma .. 3ady .. itsher .."
Zyad: " laa 3ady ana .. asharbech .. itha tabeen? "
- what is he doing ?! not infront of them! but it is really charming .. -
Me: " ok .. "
Mom: " ana baroo7 ashoof uboch a5af yab 2hdum i5tech bedal 2hdumich"
Sarah(sister): " oo ana baroo7 ashoof itha swolich akil .. "
omzyad: "ana ayy weyach"
buzyad: "oo ana ba3ad"
- seriously, everyone is leaving? great now im alone with zyad, thats just wonderful -.- -
Zyad: " u look beautiful"
Me: " sarcasm is just what i need right now .. "
Zyad: " u do look beautiful "
Me: " i just got out of a surgery, i look like a total mess "
Zyad: " no u dont "
- he started looking at me with those eyes again!! i just wanted to tell him to stop it but i can't! UGH! he always make me so self-conscious! mako ra7ma! -
Me: " stop!" (while covering m face)
Zyad: " fay .. "
Me: "hmm "
Zyad: "do u really love me? "
Me : " .. do u?
Zyad: "always have .. "
Me: " ... "
- i dont know what to say, im so shy .. im such an idiot! -
Me: " i .. "
Zyad: " please .. just say it one more time .. "
Me: " ..."
Today was the day of my surgery, the day I've been dreading since the moment i got here..
my family tried there best to make me forget about the whole thing, even inviting zyad and his parents, and even Lee and her husband for dinner last night. honestly, i did have fun, seeing the people i love together, but i couldnt keep my mind off of the surgery that im gonna go through the next day. Zyad and i talked the whole day, played games, did everything, but he still was no use.
- 9:00 am -
An hour before my surgery, my eyes didnt leave the clock's sight, they were glued to it.. my hands were shaking, i didnt know if it was form the shot they gave me or my fear of going under the knife ..
my parents including my sister were praying for me and reading the Qu'ran from yesterday, actually form the start of the trip, i was praying too trying to calm myself down.
Oh, and if u were wondering, yes i am on the hospital bed waiting for the time to come for my surgery, ive been waiting for 2 hours now because the doctors wanted to take a few test and mark my head to see where theyre gonna do the surgery and stuff .. a woman came with a shaving tool in between her hands thinking shes going to shave my head, but what she doesnt know is that its already done. When my family saw my hairless head their faces were priceless, yes i laughed, i didnt think it was a big deal. My mom and sis started crying, but my dad kept quiet. And thats when i stopped laughing .. it wasnt funny by the end ..
- 9:30 am -
the door opened slightly, i thought it was time, i thought it was the doctor but when the person on the outside peeked, i was relieved to see Zyad, my heart started to beet at its normal pace again.
Zyad(and his parents) : "isalam 3alikom"
All: " wa3alaikom ilsalam"
Zyad's mom: " ha fay shlonich ?"
Me: "ib5air il7emdilla"
Zyad's dad: " tara lat 5afeen , sahalat inshalla, a9lan mara7 it7eseen ib ayy shay "
- i smiled, i didnt know what to say, i know that he knows im scared and that nothing he would say would make my fear go away, zyad sat next me and we started talking about how everyone in "give a heart" missed me and wished me the best -
Me: " they're awesome over there"
- i dont know why i felt tired all of a sudden, maybe because im over whelmed or something, or just exhausted, but i still had to be positive, everything is going to be ok inshalla -
Zyad: " they r, kelhom mishtageenlich "
Me: " zyad .. " (in a low voice)
Zyad: " hmm" ( in a low voice as well )
Me: " im scared "
Zyad: " there's nothing to be scared of .. ur in good hands "
Me: " its not that "
Zyad: " 3ayal shnu "
Me: " itha allah ghathib 3alay , what if i dont wake up after my surgery .. "
- i know u think im ridiculous, but if u were in my shoes ( allah lay goolah) this idea would be nothing compared to what would be going through ur head, i was scared ok ! my head wasn't with me at that moment, i was blabbering non sense -
Zyad: " dont say that! U R GOING TO BE OK "
Me: " ok"
- its like hes reassuring himself in a way -
Zyad: " ur making me and u nervous and scared "
Me: " why am i making U nervous AND scared ?! "
Zyad: " because .. "
Me: " because what? "
Zyad: " because i love u "
Doctor: "ok fay, its time"
-....-
Doctor: "fay?"
Me: " hmm, yea .. yea i am "
- i looked at zyad one more time.. he looked at me with those eyes, those beautiful hazel eyes that makes ur whole world spin a thousand spins, at that moment, at that last second for some weird reason, i didnt feel scared anymore
... so i took his hand and whispered in his left ear .. -
" i love u too "
- and off i went -
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
- 6hrs later -
(Zyad)
I didnt stand still the whole time, i looked at the clock every few seconds, i didnt eat, i didnt go to "Give a heart", i just waited impatiently, waited for the doctor to come out of that door to tell us that everything is ok, and that fay is out of the surgery room better than ever .
I cannot believe i told her i loved her, like really loved her, and she knew exactly how i felt, and the best part is that she loves me BACK. when she told me she loved me, i felt like i was over the moon! but the whole thing ended when i saw her being taken away from me to go through her surgery, the scene turned from love and romance to terror and horror ..
Me: " uma ba3ad cham sa3a ? "
Mom: " ma buga shay 7abeeby"
- that was her answer every time i ask her how many hours r left, and i kept asking her because i wanted to hear that answer .. i wanted it to be " ma buga shay" not "la baaayyy lail7leen buga wayed "-
- but suddenly the door opened and everyone stood up, it was the doctor -
Fay's dad: " doctor! "
Doctor: " hello everyone, umm the surgery took longer that it had to .. "
- ughhhh! i hate when they do that! just cut to the chase dude -
Doctor: " and it had some difficulties "
- r u kidding me !! yalla ya baba 5ale9naa! -
Doctor: "but thank god, the surgery went well, the tumor is out, and she is waiting for u in her room :) "
- finally !!!! i didnt realize that i was running until a nurse called out telling me to slow down! -
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Fay)
i opened my eyes to see bright light burning my eyes, i felt like i was flouting in thin air, that i was on my way to cloud 9 .. i was so knocked out that i thought i was dead until i heard the doctor call my name .. i didnt bother to respond because he saw me open my eyes a little wider, it hurt. i felt a pinch on my wrist and i saw that they were putting a large needle inside my vain, is that all i have to go through now? needles , medicine, crying, depression .. but then i remember zyad and everything, it was like a memory stick just got plugged inside my head .. thats when i got relieved.
it didnt take me long to realize that i had the urge to throw up ..
Me: " i feel sick" (very low voice)
Doctor: " yes fay? "
Me: " i feel sick"
Doctor: " oh! get me a plastic bag, a bucket .. anything quick!! everything is gonna be alright fay. ... here u go"
- after throwing up for what seemed like forever, i felt so light headed, i literally felt like a feather; light, quiet.
Me: " i want to see my family, where is my family? "
Doctor: " there going to be here in a minute, ill call them"
- i didnt know if i smiled or winced, i had no control over anything in my body, and i didnt care. I just wanted to sleep -
Mom: " 7abeebty! benty! yuma shlonich, shet7eseen fee ? ta3bana? tabeen may? fe shay emthaygich?"
- whats annoying me right now is u mom -
Me: " shhhhhhhh"
- everyone paused and stared at me because of what i just did, do u blame me? i didnt have the strength to even talk, thats the best i can do to get them to SHUT THERE MOUTHS -
Buzyad: " 5an 5ali fay shwaya terta7 .. zyad 7abeeby yeeb 7ag fay may "
Me: " la 3ady 3ami .. "
Buzyad : " intay ma tegdreen tet7achane shlone ma tabeen may .. roo7 zyad oo yeeb gla9ane mu bes wa7ed "
Me: " mashkoor"
Mom:" uboch ra7 2yeeblich 2hdume 7ag bacher lama te6le3een .. "
Me: " bacher?! "
Mom:" ildoctor gal bes youm 2tnameen bel musteshfa, bes 3ady yabaw kil shay ib ghurfatna "
Me: " inzain"
- one day! r they serious?! bil kuwait ilnas 2enamoon isboo3 bilmusteshfa bes 7ag duda ilzayda oo ana youm! -
Zyad: "hatha il may .. "
- i tried reaching out but my body was too weak and i couldnt move my hands from that stupid drip thing -
Me: " yuma .. 3ady .. itsher .."
Zyad: " laa 3ady ana .. asharbech .. itha tabeen? "
- what is he doing ?! not infront of them! but it is really charming .. -
Me: " ok .. "
Mom: " ana baroo7 ashoof uboch a5af yab 2hdum i5tech bedal 2hdumich"
Sarah(sister): " oo ana baroo7 ashoof itha swolich akil .. "
omzyad: "ana ayy weyach"
buzyad: "oo ana ba3ad"
- seriously, everyone is leaving? great now im alone with zyad, thats just wonderful -.- -
Zyad: " u look beautiful"
Me: " sarcasm is just what i need right now .. "
Zyad: " u do look beautiful "
Me: " i just got out of a surgery, i look like a total mess "
Zyad: " no u dont "
- he started looking at me with those eyes again!! i just wanted to tell him to stop it but i can't! UGH! he always make me so self-conscious! mako ra7ma! -
Me: " stop!" (while covering m face)
Zyad: " fay .. "
Me: "hmm "
Zyad: "do u really love me? "
Me : " .. do u?
Zyad: "always have .. "
Me: " ... "
- i dont know what to say, im so shy .. im such an idiot! -
Me: " i .. "
Zyad: " please .. just say it one more time .. "
Me: " ..."
No comments:
Post a Comment